“How to Breathe” by Carmen Jane

It’s often commented that music can serve as therapy both for the musician and listener, but that can be just part of the experience. For Carmen Jane, the therapeutic aspect is very much the point itself – her music narrates her journey towards self-understanding, and invites the listener there too.

For her latest song, “How to Breathe”, Carmen Jane has delved deeper than ever into one of the most painful experiences of her life, the death of her father in March 2020 and the surreal grieving experience at the beginning of the Covid pandemic. It’s an outpouring of grief brought to life with the aid of constant collaborator Benn Suede.

The song doesn’t shy away from that rawness, using a minimalistic instrumental backdrop to lightly accentuate the focus of the song, which are Carmen Jane’s rawly emotional vocals. The song unfolds with the intimacy of a diary, searching for meaning as it goes and poignantly illustrating the intense struggle of turning deep pain into art.

On the song, Carmen Jane says, “This song is the closest thing to forward movement in grief that I’ve been able to find. I wrote it the week the world shut down in Covid and my life turned upside down in loss. My house was full of people due to everyone working at home in the pandemic, so I borrowed a friend’s RV, parked in my driveway, and put a keyboard in it. I just needed a space for me to cry and write and just…be. The lyrics came quickly, the melody instinctual. It felt too simple at first…”you said I’d be just fine, you lied, left my body here to breathe without you. Goodbye don’t feel fine”. It felt so basic and I wrestled with changing it to something more clever multiple times. But the words were how I felt. It WAS that simple. I wasn’t fine. Goodbye didn’t feel alright.”