Beckenham's finest purveyors of Balaeric Pub Anthems, The Manor, reveal all in this week's Internet Crush.

If you could distil British masculinity down to its essence and force it to produce a sound, the noise that would come out would probably sound a lot like The Manor. On paper, they’re a trio of South London lads who make anthems about benders and their aftermath but dig a little deeper and you’ll find ruminations about everyday day life, declarations of fiercely left-wing politics and more than a little self-deprecating humour. It’s no wonder they’re supporting The Streets on their UK tour next year. Their latest single is an ode to the ultimate British holiday destination, Ibiza, that sees the boys trying to piece together a lost week on the island. In honour of the track’s release, we caught up with Jonny Dutch, Scotty Stacks and Danny Graft for this week’s Internet Crush.

Do you remember your dreams? Tell us about a recent dream you’ve had….

Jonny Dutch: I’ve just come back from Ibiza so my dreams have been erratic, to say the least. The last one I remember from Sunday night was loosely based on the child fiction series ‘animorphs’ and set in Purley Way Ikea, I’ll say no more. 


Scotty Stacks: Just got back from Ibiza and am still having night terrors. Yesterday I fell asleep on the sofa and dreamt that I was being chased through Ushuaia by about 200 strong mob of Spanish old bill and Scandanavian EDM DJs.


Danny Graft: The night before Mike Skinner announced we’d be supporting him on his upcoming tour, I dreamt that we’d been replaced by a Naseem Hamed comeback fight and I’d be fighting on the undercard instead.

Have you ever committed a crime (or done something illegal)? If so what did you do and were there consequences?

Jonny Dutch: Just in case I’m getting stitched up here I’m going to keep this answer very PG13 and the tell you the first crime I remember committing. I was five years of age I was out shopping with my mum and stole a 17p pack of hubba bubba from the newsagents. This resulted in me being consumed with guilt and being the first one ready for church the following Sunday where I prayed for forgiveness.


Scotty Stacks: Every time I walk past the pick n mix in Sainsbury’s I nick one piece of vanilla fudge. It’s become compulsive now, and I’ve started to enjoy it more if shop assistants see me do it.


Danny Graft: We commit quite a few at various after parties in Beckenham, but so far the consequences have only been feeling like shit the next morning.

What is the closest you’ve ever come to death?

Jonny Dutch: Sitting in Scotty Stacks car as he has a domestic with his missus.


Scotty Stacks: Crawled out of my tent at Bestival first thing in the morning after a heavy night and downed what I thought was the last sip of water but turned out to be burning hot straight vodka.


Danny Graft: Listening to a Keane album on a comedown.

Describe your sound in three words…

Jonny Dutch: Honest, unifying and anthemic.


Scotty Stacks: All The Gear.


Danny Graft: Balaeric Pub Anthems.

What’s your star sign? (and are you a typical *whatever your sign is*?)

Jonny Dutch: Aquarius – ye I’m highly unpredictable, got a short attention span and can’t stand structure. We nearly done yet?


Scotty Stacks: Scorpio. Apparently so


Danny Graft: Aries. Not got a clue, ask Meg!!

When was the first time you had your heart broken? (who by? how did it feel? what did you do?)

Jonny Dutch: Not gonna say her name and give her any air time. She was up herself then and almost certainly still is now. I dealt with it like a man and ignored all of her attempts to put me in the friend zone. I hope she has a life full of divorce and ‘plenty of fish’ dates. Not that I’m bitter.


Scotty Stacks: I cheated on my ex about ten years ago and she left me. Drove round alone trapping listening to nothing but ‘The Script – Man Who Can’t Be Moved’ for six months ’til I eventually threw the CD out of the window of the motor and cracked back on with my life.


Danny Graft: Aged 5. My mum showed the girl I liked my baby pics with my hampton hanging out. Cried.

Who was your first celebrity crush?

Jonny Dutch: Melanie Sykes when I first saw that Boddingtons advert.


Scotty Stacks: Kelly Brook because she used to live around the corner from me in Sydenham. Still haven’t given up on her tbh.


Danny Graft: Posh Spice or Mel B.

What would your biography be called?

Jonny Dutch: Don’t Judge A Book by Its Cover – Except This One.


Scotty Stacks: Stack Bumbles.


Danny Graft: Don’t Do What We Did.

What was the first song you ever wrote?

Jonny Dutch: It was an RnB number about she who shall not be mentioned from an earlier question, loosely inspired by ‘Usher – U Make Me Wanna’.


Scotty Stacks: I tried to write a wrestling freestyle over Stone Cold Steve Austin’s WWF entrance music when I was in primary school.


Danny Graft: ‘These Girls’ back in 1998. R&B /rap balled inspired by ‘Gangster’s Paradise’.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

Jonny Dutch: Don’t make permanent decisions over temporary emotions. If it’s a big decision always take your time with it.


Scotty Stacks: “Why not now?” Single greatest phrase to counteract procrastination.


Danny Graft: “It is what it is”. Works for literally anything.

How was high school?

Jonny Dutch: Could’ve been better with girls but I learnt a lot (Me and Graft went to an all-boys school) sixth form college, however, was a two-year rave as we left the boys school and went to girls’ sixth form with about 40 boys and over 200 girls. I had a 7% lesson attendance because I turned up every day and chilled in the common room for 8 hours.


Scotty Stacks: Went to about 7 of them so there was lots variety. Been to private schools, grammar schools, state schools, boys schools, girls schools, mixed schools, 6th forms, colleges. Anything you want to know about the British education system give me a shout, I’m an expert.


Danny Graft: Bleak. Went to an all boys school for five years. Had enough in the end and joined an all-girls college.

Is sex important to you? (why?)

Jonny Dutch: Sex is important if you wish to keep a sharp and focused mind. I’ve got a 30-year old mate who can’t go half an hour without having a wank. Needless to say, he’s never held a job down for longer than three months in his whole life.


Scotty Stacks: Not so much, as long as I’m getting lots of it, regularly.


Danny Graft: Yes. Makes the missus happy(ish) and keeps your head clear.

What’s the biggest problem facing humans as a species?

Jonny Dutch: Social media. Social media has convinced the majority of people that their opinions are more important than they actually are. This builds the momentum of the stupid and unifies the ignorant, very dangerous.


Scotty Stacks: Right-wing tabloids.


Danny Graft: Pointing out each other’s differences when really we’re exactly the same.

Describe your own personal idea of hell…

Jonny Dutch: Scotty Stacks explaining the benefits of veganism for the 600th time whilst losing to him on FIFA.


Scotty Stacks: Accidentally finding yourself in an EDM party in Vegas when you thought it was a hip hop night.


Danny Graft: The central line.

What’s a lie you’ve told and what was the fallout?

Jonny Dutch: We told the world we were retiring in 2014… four years on and two record deals later we’re still here.


Scotty Stacks: Told my pal he looked good carrying a bit of weight and then he went and piled on another three stone.


Danny Graft:  I told my ex I loved her and she believed me. The fallout was the relationship lasted a lot longer than it should have.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Jonny Dutch: The ability to teleport short distances whilst still reaping all of the exercise benefits as if I’d run or walked that distance. I’d do so much more with my life, I’d be fitter and I’d save a lot of time.


Scotty Stacks: X-ray vision, so I could always buy winning scratch cards.


Danny Graft: Better memory. What was the question?

What’s one thing we can all do to contribute to equality?

Jonny Dutch: Change your name once a week for a day to a famous name from another culture. For instance next Tuesday I’m gonna be called Ji – sung for the day, just to see how it feels to be Korean.


Scotty Stacks: Elevate ourselves by elevating each other, rather than putting each other down.


Danny Graft: Stop being a cunt.

When was the last time you cried and why?

Jonny Dutch: On Sunday, I’d got back from Ibiza the night before.


Scotty Stacks: On Monday 27th May 2017 at approx 17:06 when Super Kevin Phillips scored a penalty against Watford in the first minute of injury time during the first half of extra time in the Championship playoff final to send Crystal Palace to the Premier League for what has now turned into the longest stint in the top flight in our history. Magical. (It was actually when my Grandma died a year later but just wanted to relive that moment at Wembley.)


Danny Graft: Hyde park sitting by a tree because it didn’t come home.

Where/What will you be doing at the end of the world?

Jonny Dutch: In my Sunday best with a bible in my hand at a mental party.


Scotty Stacks: Looking forward to seeing all the loved ones I’ve lost on the other side.


Danny Graft: Getting off my nut telling everyone “it is what it is”.