Notion 91: keshi

I’m not a religious person, but I found it interesting to use those themes from Dante’s Inferno. I’m not literally writing about angels, but what does an angel in my life look like? What do they sound like? How do I interact with them? Am I at their mercy? When in my life do I feel like I’m in limbo? When in my life do I feel like it’s hell or heaven? It was really fun to have that as a theme. It started to feel centralised. Nothing was on purpose, either. It all just happened by accident, which is the beautiful thing about it. That was something that a friend of mine told me when I started the record: ‘Don’t worry about planning it out now, just write songs and it’ll reveal itself’.

I was tired of referring to the album as ‘album’, so I chose the name Gabriel on a whim and after a while, it stuck. I fell in love with it. Why is naming an album any different from naming a child? It’s done its job in terms of gathering intrigue. It’s memorable. I didn’t want anything that would be corny or cheesy, so it made a lot of sense. At that point, I was like, ‘What would a song named Gabriel sound like?’ At the end of the day, I wrote the song “GABRIEL”. It’s the title track and the very last song on the record.

They are all incredibly personal to me. This is the most candid and honest I’ve ever been on a record. “HELL/HEAVEN” is my personal favourite in terms of production; it’s a very interesting song to listen to. It’s separated into two different halves. “LIMBO” is also a very personal one. It’s a song about feeling like you’re not exactly sure where you are in life; you can’t really tell if what you’re doing is the right decision. You’re having ups and downs, but maybe you’re happiest in the grey area, just cruising in-between.

There’s not a message that I want to give out to fans. This is definitely a record for me. It’s how it should be, more than anything. It was a testament to the kind of music that I loved, the music that I want to make and the music that I want to listen to. Also, the way that I’ve processed my life for the past couple of years.

It’s more the perspective of having had a normal job and transitioning into a job that’s more in the limelight, in which I have to trade some of my time and my privacy for potential growth as an artist. It is a dream come true, but it will always be like a dream for me. It’s always an adjustment period. I’m still adjusting.

It is quite strange, but I’m coming into my shoes. You’ll feel it on the record, how I feel about everything going on right now.

When I started [making music], I got bullied for it and I got incredibly discouraged. Ever since then, it’s been a fight to prove to myself and to other people that I can do this. It’s the world’s longest revenge story. The co-signs from everyone around the world, especially them being so talented and hard-working themselves, is incredibly validating. It means the world to me. I’m honestly very lucky to have people who want to listen in general and that I can do this full-time.

There were discouraging parts throughout the journey. Even after the initial bullying, I continued to want to sing. Then you get a little bit better, you start to play some gigs every now and then. The next thing that has to happen is that you have to fail. You have to just completely fuck up a gig. You feel crushed for a little bit, feel like you want to put the guitar down and stop singing. It teaches you that something’s missing. What is it that’s missing? If I want to do this, I have to find it. It’s problem-solving. Why did this fail? Was it because I forgot the lyrics, or was it because it’s not the sound I want to do? Constant times of something new and of falling and getting back up, that’s the discouragement. All of that led to me creating a SoundCloud account that I didn’t share with anyone – I thought it was time to not just have my friends and family listen to my music, but for other people to listen to it. That was the beginning of the artist’s creation.

I’m in love with silhouettes. I don’t really care too much about the brand, I’m interested in interesting silhouettes. Fashion is an incredibly important part of the perception of an artist and the world that they live in. I’ve luckily fallen into the hands of someone amazing who helps me with looking on point. Shout-out to Kendy because I love her so much!

At the moment, the tour is the only thing on my mind because it’s going to be a very big one, more than what we’ve announced so far. A lot of exciting stuff is in the works. I’ll begin writing for my next project, I’m going to be taking a bit of a break. I don’t like to force things. I feel like I’ve said what I wanted to say on this record