Erika de Casier for Notion 95

I can’t remember a specific song, but I do remember getting a portable CD-player at a local supermarket when I was maybe 11. It was clear blue so you could see the CD spin inside it. Before that I had a small radio I used to put up to my ear at night on very low volume so I wouldn’t wake up my mum. I didn’t even have headphones! The struggle. The CD-player gave me a whole new freedom and a feeling of independence – I could listen to whatever I wanted, or whatever CD I had at any time. I remember I brought it with me everywhere – I taped it to my bag when I was biking to school, and I had to bike very calmly so the CD wouldn’t skip. It became my most precious possession.  

Oh, wow. Thank you for that. I feel relieved. I’m amazed by how kind people have been. I think I was expecting the worst – an illogical fear that those who have listened to my music before would turn against me, or something. I don’t like to admit that, but it would be dishonest to say otherwise. I’d love to say I’m super confident in everything I do. I am confident of my choices, my taste and my values, and when I make music, I do it for my own pleasure. But I am filled with uncertainty whenever I have to share it with others. Like it’s too personal. Meeting people after the concerts always baffles me – to have made something that means something to other people is wild. It has given me a lot of fulfilment. 

It’s the first album where I have worked with other musicians and the first time I’ve had any features on. I guess after my second album that I made during lockdown I could really feel that fundamental need for company. I think what makes it different is also where I am in life now and what I feel the need to write about.  

I actually don’t think about what styles to incorporate while I’m making music. I’m aware of my references, but I just use whatever sounds make me feel something or fit the certain track I’m making. I think we’re all just melting pots of whatever we’ve been exposed to and whatever we’ve connected a certain feeling towards: we make art that reflects that. Maybe I shouldn’t speak for everybody. Of course, sometimes I can start a track thinking it more as a playful challenge: “let me make a trap-beat”, but in general, I just go tone by tone, sound by sound, word by word. Then the track ends up having different genres incorporated, but that’s none of my business.  

I think even though my lyrics are intimate and honest, they’re still private. I never mention any names and I still want others to be able to make their own stories to the songs. I’ve always valued room for imagination in music – when it can be the soundtrack to my daydreams. I also value my privacy in my daily life, so even though I love sharing my music and have grown more comfortable with being in the spotlight on stage, I still want to keep my private life to myself. 

When I write songs, I imagine I’m telling someone face-to-face. Or like it’s a look into my most honest thoughts when I’m in a vulnerable situation. For me, expressing vulnerability is something I find natural to do in a song because I write for myself – when there is no fear of rejection. 

I think creating Bianka came from not feeling as confident as I would have wished to be before a video shoot, and I felt like wearing a wig might help so I bought one and suddenly I had an alter ego. I also didn’t decide to step away from it. I just didn’t want to wear the wig anymore. Maybe I’ll wear it again later. It’s a look! 

One important thing I learnt is that it’s possible to be brave without overstepping my own boundaries. I’ve gone past my comfort zone and evolved from it, but I think I’ve learned – and I’m still learning – to say no to things I don’t think match my values. 

I guess it’s just like making dinner. One day you make spaghetti for one, the next you make a three-course meal for 20 people. Some things take more planning than others but in the end it’s just food. Forgive me for that metaphor, but you get the point! I’ve enjoyed working on all projects because I usually have a feeling if it’s a match or not before I begin. I enjoy everything from hanging out in the studio and talking about life, to choosing a snare or what feeling I want the song to encapsulate. I think my favourite part of the writing process is probably creating the melodies. When a nice melody comes to mind out of nowhere – it’s a great feeling. If it also comes with a word or sentence – even better. It’s like a puzzle you have to solve. It doesn’t matter which project it is or the size of it – as long as the people I work with are nice people. 

The songwriting process was different because I wrote it with other people but the craft is the same. In terms of collaborating with artists from different backgrounds and genres it played no role – music and love are universal languages! 

I’m going on an EU/UK tour starting in Amsterdam on May 4th. I’m trying to focus on that right now and after that we’ll see!